Life will not always give you what you want. Great. We know that. So what?

This is one of the statements our loved ones tell us and leave us to process on our own, without telling us how. Yet, our parents and teachers have let us grow up believing we are special and can have and be anything we want. See what 2020 has gone and become! We wanted to finish school, go clubbing, hug our friends, stay away from our parents, enjoy short holidays, sneeze loudly and sanitize a whole lot less. (You can add to the list.) Instead we have been forced to be isolated, lonely, clean freaks with emerging paranoia. Or maybe not. I exaggerate. It is still no excuse to get through 2020 like a zombie. Get up, take a shower, put on your game face and deal with 2020 head on!

Ok. Seriously speaking, I do not know what you wanted out of your 2020. I had goals I was to meet, and they are now suspended. I have no idea until when as they are dependent on schools reopening and students gathering in large numbers. This may have been the year you graduate into a higher level of education, officially become an adult, start a new job, travel to new places and vlog about them, shop till you drop, and so on. Schooling has lost the year 2020 worldwide, but education hasn’t. You still have a lot to learn. You may not do the stuff you were looking forward to doing, but time did not stop – you will still be a year older next year. Technically, we were given a beverage without some key ingredients. We need to drink it anyway.

Survival is a talent. We can all develop it. It is a whole-body experience because your mind, heart and soul need to eventually align. Depending on where you prefer to start:

• You can change your thoughts by planting new thoughts in your mind. Read, listen, watch and engage with content that will help you get through this period. Winston Churchill said that “if you are going through hell, keep going.” 2020 has been hell; it would not be a good idea to stop.
• You can reach out for the things and people that make you feel life is worth living; that the next day is worth waiting for and planning for. Redesign your wardrobe, rearrange your room, take up a new hobby, try new hairstyles and meals. Whatever brings in the sunshine – do it. A word of caution though – avoid the stuff that will get you high and hooked. It’s temporary and bad for you in the long-term.

Develop healthy coping skills. These will be key to getting you through tough times – not just now, but even in the future. Now that we are all being forced to live online, why not make this part of your research – “How to develop healthy coping skills.” You will get many ideas that are emotion-focused, problem-focused and proactive. You will get to understand unhealthy coping skills and identify what skills you have, or need to add to, your arsenal, coz this is a war we are in. Coping skills will distract you and change your mood. One of my personal favourites is to look in the mirror, tell myself “It’s not all about you!” and find someone who may need my help. Believe it or not – there is someone who has been hit by 2020 much harder than you have. Reaching out a helping hand to them will get your mind off your current and present worries. And when your focus is outside of yourself, you are able to get a better perspective of life.

The bible, in Ecclesiastes 9:11 reminds us that time and chance happen to us all. Take advantage of the time and chance 2020 is offering. Leon C. Meggison said that “It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.” Decide the best way you can manage change. How I do it won’t be how you can do it. It will take a journey of self-discovery.

For example, find out what your learning style is and leverage on it for your studies. Find out your communication style and practice being assertive with those who violate your boundaries. Find out your personality type and understand your foibles. Use the great traits you discover about yourself to grow and become greater this year. Most importantly, even when you are going on this journey, only give yourself the names you want to answer to. Treat yourself as you want to be treated. And it begins by cutting yourself some slack. Treat others as they deserve to be treated. This means respecting them and being kind and empathetic. It may also mean permanently kicking out some people and habits from your life this year. Do it anyway.

It will take extra everything to survive 2020. Don’t let those gliding by with a smile fool you. If you like milk in your coffee and 2020 didn’t give it to you…drink it black.