The Mirror will always be relevant.

The size and shape may change, but its role will always be relevant. The role of an adult in a child’s life will also always be relevant. The parent – maybe not. How do you stay relevant to your child right through to when they become adults?

Children always look out for adults to guide their behaviour. When the parent is absent in a child’s life, the child will look out for the next available adult. As parents, we are actually aware of this fact. That is why we invest in good schools and spend time finding the ideal nanny for our children. This is also why many children today model what their nannies and teachers do. The “parent mirror” has been replaced by the “nanny mirror” and/or “teacher mirror”.

Who are the adults that are spending the most time with your children? What values are they reflecting for your children to copy? You may sigh with relief because you have the best people around your child. However, consider this: what does your child make all this mean? What is your absence meaning to them?

To stay relevant to your child, you must always seek to connect and relate with them as they grow. Appreciate that their world is changing very fast and keep yourself updated on the things going on out there. Be aware of the yardsticks available to them both online and offline and guide them according to their stage in life. A time will come when listening to what you say will be irrelevant. They will be more interested in whether you “get” them. Every child is different, but there are basic needs that each one has. These include acceptance, significance, connection and love.

If you do not seem to accept them as they are, and constantly seek to “change” them, they will look for that acceptance elsewhere. Without a sense of significance from the home front, a child will seek significance out there. There are lots of options today for our children find love and to connect with others like them.

Want to stay relevant? Be up to date with how they are seeking fulfilment of these basic needs. As our children grow, food, clothing and shelter become an expectation. Significance, acceptance, connection and love remain things that they seek to experience and have in their lives.

What are today’s parents doing to stay relevant? Is it working?